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Joe Biden Announces Sen. Kamala Harris As His Running Mate | NBC News

>> Stephen: WELCOME! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TO "A LATE
SHOW"! I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. I'M HERE WITH MY STAGE MANAGER,
MY EXECUTIVE PRODUCER, MY SON JOHN'S HERE TONIGHT, AND WE HAVE
A HUGE NIGHT FOR YOU BECAUSE WE ARE LIVE RIGHT THERE AFTER THEER
FINAL NIGHT TO HAVE THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION,
AND IT HAS BEEN, WHEW, A WHIRLWIND WEEK. BEC
BUT NOW IT'S OVER. BOB'S YOUR UNCLE AND JOE'S YOUR
CANDIDATE BECAUSE TONIGHT WAS THE DRAMATIC SEASON FINALE OF
OUR D.N.C. SPECTACULAR! ♪
♪ >> DEMOCRATS ASSEMBLE. OUR D.N.C. SPE
♪ ♪
>> ALL YOU FIRED UP! ND SO WE FIGHT! IT IS WHAT IT IS! ♪
♪ >> BLUEBIRD SMASH! >> Stephen: I DID NOT EXPECT
THAT. EVERY NIGHT OF THE CONVENTION
HAS HAD >> Stephen: EVERY NIGHT OF HE
CONVENTION HAS HAD A THEME. LAST NIGHT WAS "A MORE PERFECT
UNION," AND TONIGHT WAS, "AMERICA'S PROMISE." WHICH IS A LOVELY THEME, AND
ALSO, I BELIEVE, A DELICIOUSVENN HAS HAD
>> S STORE-BRAND MARGARINE. "WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO TASTE
JUST LIKE BUTTER!" NOW THAT WE'VE REACHED THE END,
WE CAN REFLECT ON A CONVENTION THAT REALLY HAD IT ALL: STARS,
EVERYDAY PEOPLE, BILLY PORTER SERENADING BILLY PORTER. GET A ROOM, YOU ONE! THE DEMOCRATS GAVE IT THEIR ALL
THIS WEEK, AND EVEN THOUGH COVID FORCED THE CONVENTION TO
BE SOCIALLY DISTANT, I THINK I MIGHT HAVE CONTRACTED A CASE OF
THE HOPES. NO DRY COUGH, BUT MY FACE DID
LEAK SEVERAL TIMES. EARLY ON IN THE NIGHT, WE GOT A
DIRE WARNING ABOUT THE URGENCY OF GLOBAL WARMING FROM
CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR GAVIN NEWSOM, SEEN HERE STANDING IN
FRONT OF THE ONLY TREE IN CALIFORNIA THAT ISN'T ON FIRE. THEN THE CONVENTION STRUCK A
THEN THE CONVENTION STRUCK WHAT I THOUGHT WAS AN ASPIRATIONAL
AND OPTIMISTIC TONE WITH A VIDEO TITLED —
( DRUM ROLL ) —
>> THIS TIME NEXT YEAR, I HOPE THE REQUIRES IS IN CHECK. >> THIS TIME NEXT YEAR, I HOPEOP
AMERICA WILL RESTORE DEMOCRACY TO THE WORLD. >> Stephen: MY TURN? THIS TIME NEXT YEAR, I HOPE I
DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS VOICE EVER AGAIN — (TRUMP) — BECAUSE,
FACE IT, IT'S BEEN THREE AND A HALF YEARS AND THE IMPRESSION IS
NO BETTER AND I'M PRETTY SURE I'M GETTING POLYPS.R
WE HEARD FROM ONE OF THE YOUNGER DEMOCRATS IN THE PARTY, ANDREW
YANG, WHO REMINDS US WHO HELPS. >> YOU MIGHT REMEMBER ME AS THE
GUY WHO RAN FOR PRESIDENT TALKING ABOUT MATH IN THE
FUTURE. >> Stephen: BUT MOSTLY HE'S
THE GUY WHO PROMISED ME $1,000. WHERE'S MY MONEY, ANDY? HE WAS BLUNT ABOUT THE STATE OF
THE COUNTRY. >> WE'RE IN A DEEP DARK HOLE AND
WE NEED LEADERS TO HELP US DIG OUT. >> Stephen: HE'S RIGHT,
AMERICA IS IN A DEEP DARK HOLE, AND TRUMP'S MESSAGE IS IT PUTS
THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN! THEN IT WAS TIME FOR THE PLEDGE
OF ALLEGIANCE. >> I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE
FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND TO A REPUBLIC FOR
WHICH IT STANDS — >> Stephen: OH, MY GOD! THAT IS SO ADORABLE! PLEASE VOTE, EVERYBODY, IF NOT
FOR YOUR FUTURE, THEN FOR THAT KID'S FUTURE SO HE CAN GROW UP
IN THE REPLUBLIC HE DESERVES. AND THE GREAT JULIA
LOUIS-DREYFUS OFFICIALLY MADE THE BIDEN CAMPAIGN THE NEW
ADVENTURES OF OLD JOE. JULIA TALKED ABOUT BIDEN'S
COMMITMENT TO HIS FAITH. >> JOE BIDEN GOES TO CHURCH SO
REGULARLY THAT HE DOESN'T EVEN NEED TEAR GAS AND A BUNCH OF
FEDERALIZED TROOPS TO HELP HIM GET THERE. >> Stephen: DAMN, TRUMP, YOU
JUST GOT "VEEPED" IN THE TEETH. JULIA'S DOING MY JOB FOR ME AND
SHE LOOKS WAY BETTER IN THE HEELS, WHICH IS THE REASON I'M
SITTING DOWN NOW. WE HAVE A FANTASTIC MUSICAL
PERFORMANCE TONIGHT BY JOHN LEGEND AND THE RAPPER COMMON. BUT AS A MIDDLE AGE WHITE
PERSON, I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND HIP-HOP UNLESS ITS
ABOUT ALEXANDER HAMILTON. AND AFTER THAT INCREDIBLY MOVING
PERFORMANCE, THE OBVIOUS FOLLOW-UP IS THIS RAP MASTER. >> I'M HISTORIAN JON MEACHAM. >> Stephen: AND IF YOU HAVE
KIDS I'LL TEACH I'M, I'VE CHRONICLED MANY PRESIDENTIAL
NOMINATIONS, I WROTE THE BOOK YOUR DAD TAKES ON VACATIONS. MYRMEACHAM REACHED BACK TO THE
WORDS OF DR. KING. >> MARTIN LUTHER KING SAID WE
ARE TIED TOGETHER IN THE SINGLE GARMENT OF DESTINY. >> Stephen: SINCE MID MARCH,
UNFORTUNATELY, THE GARMENT HAS BEEN SWEAT PARENTS. THEN TIM BALDWIN. >> WE ALL HAVE STORIES LIKE
THIS, STORIES ABOUT A TIME WHENM THE SYSTEM WAS RIGGED AGAINST
US, WHEN WE WERE COUNTED OUT, LEFT OUT, PUSHED OUT. JUST THINK OF WHAT WE'VE HEARD
THESE PAST FOUR DAYS. >> Stephen: OKAY, WE HAVE BEEN
LIVE FOR THE PAST FOUR DAYS, SO IT'S ALL BEEN A BIT OF A BLUR. I DO REMEMBER JOHN KASICH GOT
LOST ON A DIRT ROAD, BILLIE EILISH SANG ON THE SPOOKY SET
FROM RIVERDALE, AND BIGR. I DO REMEMBER
STRUCTURAL CALAMARI? I THINK… DESPITE THE VIRTUAL SETTING,
TAMMY BALDWIN DID HER BEST TO GET THE AUDIENCE INVOLVED. >> SAY IT WITH ME AT HOME, A
NATION THAT BUILDS BACK BETTER. >> Stephen: I KNOW THE
CONVENTION IS OVER, BUT IS IT TOO LATE TO PUNCH UP THAT
SLOGAN, MAYBE MAKE IT A JINGLE. ♪ I WANT MY BETTER BACK BETTER
BACK BETTER BACK RIBS ♪ NO? ALL RIGHT. THERE WERE TESTIMONIALS FROM A
LOT OF REPUBLICANS LIKE MIKE FROM RHODE ISLAND. >> THIS YEAR'S ELECTION IS VERY
IMPORTANT. >> Stephen: FOR THE RECORD, I
DON'T HAVE A SUNTAN, I HAVE BEEN BOBBING FOR CALAMARI. HEY, YANG, WHERE'S MY THOUSAND
BUCKS? I'M IN DEEP WITH THE CALAMARI
GUY WHO'S COMING FOR MY THUMBS, HE'S GOING TO BREAD 'EM AND FRY
'EM! SERIOUSLY! THEN JULIA INTRODUCED ANOTHER
FORMER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE. >> SAY HI TO MAYOR PETE. >> Stephen: HI! HI! HI, PETE! OVER HERE! HEY, PETE, PETE, PETE! >> GOOD EVENING. >> Stephen: WHEW! BUTTIGIEG USED HIS OWN LIFE AS
AN EXAMPLE OF HOW THINGS CAN CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. >> JUST OVER TEN YEARS AGO, I
JOINED A MILITARY WHERE FIRING ME BECAUSE OF WHO I AM WASN'T
JUST POSSIBLE, IT WAS POLICY. NOW, IN 2020, IT IS UNLAWFUL IN
AMERICA TO FIRE SOMEONE BECAUSE OF WHO THEY ARE OR WHO THEY
LOVE. THE VERY RING ON MY FINGER, A
WEDDING WE CELEBRATED, HERE WHERE I'M STANDING, REFLECTS HOW
THIS COUNTRY CAN CHANGE. >> Stephen: WELL, PETE, THIS
RING ON MY FINGER REFLECTS HOW WE CAN'T EVER CHANGE 'CAUSE I
HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO TAKE THIS SUCKER OFF SINCE A FLARL BIG
STEAK DINNER IN 2007. WHY DO YOU THINK I'M STILL WITH
MELANIA ( AS TRUMP ). DO WE HAVE THE BOLT CUTTERS? MICHAEL BLOOMBERG APPEARED IN
FRONT OF A BILLIONAIRE'S WORTH OF FLAGS. BLOOMBERG ARGUED THAT HE WASN'T
THERE TO PROVE TRUMP'S A BAD GUY, HE WAS THERE TO PROVE
TRUMP'S BAD AT HIS JOB. >> WOULD YOU REMIRE OR WORK FOR
SOMEONE WHO RAN YOUR BUSINESS INTO THE GROUND AND WHO ALWAYS
DOES WHAT'S BEST FOR HIM OR HER, EVEN WHEN IT HURTS THE COMPANY,
AND WHOSE RECKLESS DECISIONS PUT YOU IN DANGER, AND WHO SPENDS
MORE TIME TWEETING THAN WORKING? >> Stephen: WOULD YOU LISTEN
TO SOMEONE WHO SPENT $500 MILLION ON A PRESIDENTIAL
CAMPAIGN, WINNING ONLY AMERICAN SAMOA? DON'T ANSWER THAT. BLOOMBERG DID HIS BEST TO APPEAR
HUMAN. >> DONALD SAYS WE SHOULD VOTE
FOR HIM BECAUSE THE ECONOMY WAS GREAT BEFORE THE VIRUS. HUH? ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: BLOOMBERG SOUNDS LIKE HE'S ACTING IN A LOCAL
APPLIANCE STORE COMMERCIAL — THE OTHER GUYS CHARGE YOU EXTRA
FOR THE WASHER — DRYER REMOVAL. TO THAT I SAY, HUH? CALL NOW! THEN IT WAS TIME TO HEAR FROM
THE CANDIDATE HIMSELF IN AN AUTO BIGRAPHICLE VIDEO. HE TOLD AN INDEARING STORY ABOUT
HIS MOM STANDING UP FOR HIM. >> WHEN HIS TEACHER MIMMICKED
HIM AND HIS MOTHER DROVE BACK FRVEGHTS YOU EVER TALK TO MY SON
LIKE THAT AGAIN I'LL COME BACK AND RIP THAT DAMN BONNET OFF
YOUR HEAD. >> Stephen: RIP THE BONNET OFF
HER HEAD! THE CORN DOES NOT FALL FAR FROM
THE POD! JOE, WHIEIVE HIDING THAT STORY? YOU HAVE TO PUT IT ON A YARD
SIGN! BIDEN 2020, MY MOM THREATENED TO
BEAT UP A NUN! IT WAS THEN TIME FOR BIDEN'S
SPEECH. WOULD HE LAND IT? >> GOOD EVENING. >> Stephen: SO FAR SO GOOD. KEEP GOING. >> HERE AND NOW, I GIVE YOU MY
WORD. IF YOU ENTRUST ME WITH THE
PRESIDENCY, I WILL DRAW ON THE BEST OF US NOT THE WORST. I'LL BE AN ALLY OF THE LIGHT. >> Stephen: AS OPPOSED TO
TRUMP WHO IS AN ALLY OF THE WHITE! WE DON'T HAVE THE MUSIC ON THE
LIVE SHOW? >> NO. >> Stephen: OKAY. MY MISTAKE. HE HAD SOME STRAIGHT TALK ON
THIS VIRAL CRISIS TRUMP HAS PULLED US IN. >> HE SAYS THE VIRUS IS GOING TO
DISAPPEAR, HE KEEPS WAITING ON A MIRACLE. I HAVE NEWS, NO MIRACLE IS
COMING. >> Stephen: ARE YOU SURE
THERE'S NO MIRACLE BECAUSE, MR. VICE PRESIDENT, YOU'RE KIND
OF NAILING THIS. JOE CONTINUED TO TAKE
INSPIRATION FROM THOSE WHO CAMEA BEFORE HIM. >> YOU KNOW, MY DAD WAS AN
HONORABLE, DECENT MAN. HE GOT KNOCKED DOWN A FEW TIMES
PRETTY HARD, BUT HE ALWAYS GOTS. BACK UP. >> Stephen: THEY SAID YOU'RE
NEVER GOING TO KEEP HIM DOWN. HE USED TO SAY, JOE, NEVER
FORGET TROUBLE. HEAD A WHISKEY DRINK, HAD A
LOGGER DRINK. ( LAUGHTER )
I FORGOT THE WORDS TO CHUB-A-WOMBA. SUE ME. HE TALKED ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE
OF FAMILY AND HOW IT SAVED HIS LIFE. >> ONE MAN DOESN'T DESERVE ONE
GREAT WOMAN IN HIS LIFE LET ALONE, TOO. >> Stephen: I KNOW, I HAVE
BEEN BLESSED TO HAVE ORIGINAL AND EXTRA CRISPY. AND A CALL TO THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE. >> IN TIMES AS CHALLENGING AS
THESE, I BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY FORWARD AS A UNITED
AMERICA, UNITED AMERICA, UNITED IN OUR PURSUIT OF A MORE PERFECT
UNION, UNITED IN OUR DREAMS OF A BETTER FUTURE FOR US AND FOR OUR
CHILDREN. UNITED IN OUR DETERMINATION TO
MAKE THE COMING YEARS BRIGHT. ARE YOU READY? >> Stephen: YES! BU I'VE GOT THE REST OF THE
SHOW TO DO! SCREW IT!MINATI
JUST PUT ON A RERUN, LET'S GO! I'M BEING TOLD THAT I
CONTRACTUALLY HAVE TO FINISH THE SHOW. HERE'S THE DEAL, BIDEN SPOKE FOR
OVER TEN MINUTES AND ADDRESSED ALL THE PAIN TRUMP HAS INFLICTED
UPON OUR COUNTRY, ALL THE POSSIBILITIES FOR HEAL OUR
NATION BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY NOT ONCE DID HE WHINE ABOUT SHOWER
PRESSURE. THROUGHOUT THE CONVENTION, IT
WAS A COMMON THEME. JOE BIDEN'S HISTORY OF LOSS AND
SUFFERING. SURPRISINGLY, WE DIDN'T GET A
LOT OF JOKES OUT OF IT, BUT THERE WAS A REASON THE
CONVENTION HAMMERED THIS POINT HOME, TO CAST JOE BIDEN IN STARK
CONTRAST WITH DONALD TRUMP. DONALD TRUMP COULDN'T OVERCOME
ANY OF THE CHALLENGES OF HIS PRESIDENCY BECAUSE HE'S NEVER
HAD TO OVERCOME ANYTHING AT ALL. THIS IS A GROWNUP VERSION OF THE
COLLEGES SAY THAT ASKS YOU TO WRITE ABOUT A CHALLENGE YOU
FACED, AND INSTEAD OF SCRAMBLING TO PUT TOGETHER A STORY ABOUT
BOUNCING BACK FROM GETTING SECOND CHAIR IN YOUR HIGH
SCHOOL'S A CAPPELLA GROUP, JOE BIDEN HAS A REAL ANSWER. THIS EVENING, JOE BIDEN SHOWED
HIMSELF TO BE A MAN WHO IS DECENT, COMPASSIONATE, FLAWED
BUT HONEST, AND THAT IS WATER IN THE DESERT. HE IS THE SORT OF PERSON WHO
THINKS BEFORE HE SAYS THINGS, AND WHEN HE GAFFS — WHICH HE
DOES, OFTEN — IT'S BECAUSE HIS HEART GETS AHEAD OF HIS WORDS. HE CARES, AND HE TRIES HIS
HARDEST. HE'S LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE I KNOW
AND YOU DO, TOO, WISHED PT SEEM REMARKABLE, BUT RIGHT NOW IT IS. AND WHEN TRUMP TWEETS HIS
ALL-CAPS REBUKE TOMORROW MORNING, IT'S JUST GOING TO SHOW
HOW OUR PRESIDENT IS NOT PRESIDENTIAL, BUT JOE BIDEN IS. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT. SECRETARY HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON
IS HERE. STICK AROUND.